When Life is Real

About a hundred years ago, I wrote a weekly column for some local newspapers. I loved writing about real life and alluding to spiritual truths as I wrote. I titled that column Real Life. One of the editors tried to get me to change that title. He said it was too predictable and cliche. I told him it was actually deep and that I was writing about the reality of God’s presence in our normal lives. I told him the spiritual life is the real life. I still believe that is true. He let me keep that title.

A month ago today my husband and I moved every single object we owned to a very small town in the middle of Texas in a field in the middle of nowhere. Our new home is new construction and we were involved in every detail. If anyone ever wants to talk about faucets, drawer pulls, tiles or ceiling fans, I’m pretty much an expert now. Through all the learning and choosing, we had a vision for how things would be.

Fast forward to one of our first weekends here, with some of our family present when the sewage backed up into the shower on my new carefully picked tiles. As I cleaned it, I thought about how different real life was from the life I had envisioned for myself and those tiles. Turns out plumbers have a test ball they insert to make sure new pipes work and someone forgot to take it out. Test balls and sewage do not mix well it seems.

Since then we’ve been fighting dust, no wifi and a plethora of bugs (we moved into their neighborhood after all). Last night our new smoke alarm went off very loudly with a strange woman’s voice calmly stating “Fire, Fire.” Thankfully she was wrong and we were able to test our adrenaline reserves at 3 a.m. It also led to me asking this very late question of my husband, “Is there a fire department here?” The answer is, “Not really.” Yikes.

Amid all these minor headaches, there are some bigger challenges happening right now for our extended family and friends, just like for yours. Life keeps being exceedingly real and just enough different than we dreamed to keep it beyond challenging.

My writing topic for the next months is Joy. I’m leading two women’s retreats at the beginning of the year on that topic. Today, I’m wondering how do we keep real joy when life is so frustratingly real? Is it even possible to live a real life and have joy? What happens when life is not what you dreamed or planned? What happens when you have set back or no wifi or a strange woman’s voice announcing a fake Fire Fire in the night?

Author Cyndie Spiegel writes about a technique that might help in our hard real life times. She challenges us to take note of microjoys. At a time in her life when she experienced back-to-back devastating losses, she found fleeting moments of hope that anchored her. Microjoys don’t change the realness or difficulty of life, they just allow us to touch joy for a moment.

Spiegel writes, “Microjoys are a practice of discerning joy in any moment, accessible to everyone–particularly during difficult times. With time, this practice becomes a way of living because it offers us the perspective to observe timeless wisdom, understated beauty, and ordinary delights available to us in every moment. In spite of all else.” Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay

Over the last challenging decade, sunrises and sunsets have become soul-anchoring microjoys for me. I feel especially grateful now to have an unobstructed view of both each day. Some of you love flowers, rainbows or a deep breath of fresh air. Some find a microjoy in a brisk walk, a pet, a piece of music. What about a cold cup of water or a bit of shade on these hot summer days? I find joy in my routine, an empty journal page or the sound of an old friend’s voice.

It is okay, in fact, even good, to find joy in life no matter what else is happening. Is your life filled with sewage backing up, unexpected happenings or derailed dreams? Is it very very real right now? Seek small joys. Practice them. Breathe them in. You need it. I need it. We all need it so we can make it through this real life together.

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22

Dr. Cindy Ryan is a pastor, wife, mother of three, breast cancer survivor, Mosa to Keller, Pace, River and one on the way. Go to http://www.drcindyryanblog.com to read more blogs, see upcoming events or to sign up for her Inner Circle Monthly email which will resume in September.