A day or so after Christmas my daughter and I were sitting outside enjoying the sunshine (because living in Texas does have benefits). I found myself doing the mothering thing, exercising my Mom superpowers telling grown up offspring what they should do. I told her, “You need to write down your decade.” She stared at me and said, “Mom, I don’t even have time to go to the bathroom.” I said “I know but so much has happened for you in the last ten years: a Bachelors degree, a marriage, two homes, a Masters degree, two children. You need to reflect on all that.”
Thankfully an equally strong voice in me said, “You write down your decade.” And I realized that the decade I’m about to say goodbye to has been filled with so much for me as well. I’ve endured some of the hardest things in my life so far. Three gut punches that caused me to reevaluate everything, my kids growing up and enjoying all kinds of milestones, an empty nest, a new son-in-law, two beautiful grandsons, job changes, a soon to be new daughter-in-law and healing, grace and wonder so bright I can almost not find words for it all.
I’ve seen people already posting their new year resolutions and intentions and that is great. But, maybe first we need to reflect, ponder and detail what has been. I’ve also seen some arguing that it won’t actually be a decade until 2021. Really? I go by zeroes, such as 2010-2020, for measuring decades. I promise you, no one will be talking about a new decade this time next year but if you like to procrastinate I guess there’s a loophole for you.
If you accept that we are at the end of decade and the start of a new one, what if you listed as many milestones from the last ten years as you can think of? What if you didn’t shy away from what was painful, mournful or embarrassing? What if you catalogued what you have survived, what you have said no to, the fork in the road you didn’t take? What if you wrote down what you regret and what you are proud of from 2010 to 2020? What if you listed the blessings as well as what you still don’t understand?
My guess is that you will finish your detailing simply amazed at all that has been, all you have lost and all you have survived. You will look at it with wonder and give God thanks for seeing you through, for teaching you lessons and for never ever leaving your side.
I fear we aren’t very good at reflecting. I now make myself reflect every day in my journal time on the day that has just passed so I don’t miss anything. Does the last decade have anything to show you if you just pause for a moment?
You don’t need a mom to tell you what to do. A decade is a huge gift, a very large chunk of precious time. The least we can do is honor what has been. Have you detailed your decade yet?
Dr. Cindy Ryan is a pastor, wife, mother of three grown children, Mosa to Keller and Pace and breast cancer survivor. Women, you are invited to any of Cindy’s upcoming Women’s Events listed at http://www.drcindyryanblog.com/events. Also to sign up for an extra monthly content from Dr. Ryan go to http://www.drcindyryanblog.com/circle. The next Inner Circle email is Cindy’s Top Ten on How to Have a More Soul Filled New Year. Sign up by 12-31-19 to receive it.